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Q.

You are watching: How to tell your bestfriend you like her brother

i’m not certain what to execute or just how to define this, yet I’ve had actually feelings because that my best friend’s brother for a while. He’s a year younger and also I’ve recognized him forever because of my friend. We’ve always been close; we carpooled to high school when we to be younger, and also we watched movies with each other that my friend thinks are dumb. We have a lot of of similar interests, and also suddenly, a tiny while ago, i looked at him and he didn’t seem like simply my ideal friend’s brothers — or just a friend.

Recently, we were city hall a scary movie, and also at one allude I looked away from the screen and hid my challenge in his shoulder, and when i looked up he to be looking ideal at me and also I make an oath we virtually kissed.


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This is a person I’ve played household games that Jenga with. I’ve invested weeks v at the family’s lake cabin during the summer, mutual inner tubes, etc. And also now i keep capturing myself wishing it was more. I don’t understand if I need to tell my girlfriend or if I have to tell him. Component of me states to phone call her since she’s my ideal friend and I’ve never had a to like she hasn’t recognized about, and also another part of me wants to phone call him since what if it’s all in my head and also he doesn’t even like me? If that’s the case, informing my girlfriend would only make things awkward.

Do ns speak up? If so, come whom?

CRUSH

A. This is my an extremely subjective take, and also I’m speaking together someone who is always worried around her friends:

All of this — consisting of who girlfriend tell very first — relies on your connection with your friend. If she’s someone who have the right to accept the info without involving herself, why no tell your friend you’re experimenting these feelings? you can describe you wanted her come know very first because she’s much more important than any of this. You deserve to let her recognize you’ll store her out of it and also do what’s essential to protect your connection with her.


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If friend feel favor she’d want to it is in left out of this narrative — or that she currently knows that you and also her brother share her own, private, movie watching relationship — you can silo this information. But really, your letter implies you won’t feel an excellent about keeping a secret. The best friend is on your mind too much to perform this without her knowledge, ns think.

Also, this doesn’t need to be a big confession to one of two people of them. You’ve had so numerous experiences with this family. Will it be together a shock that you’re seeing her brothers in a brand-new light? appropriate now, you don’t recognize what you want from him, various other than kissing. Don’t make any large declarations of one all-caps CRUSH, please.

Right now, this is all simply a confound “maybe,” and there are no answer yet.

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MEREDITH

READERS RESPOND:

It’s most likely not fully all in her head the he likes you. HARRISBSTONE

Letter writer, personally i wouldn’t day a ideal friend’s brother. They’re practically family, and the potential for problem is too great. You’re already conflicted about discussing it with your friend; that will come to be more facility as time walk on. Distance yourself native him, uncover someone else. KALLISTOGA


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It seems favor the 2 of you have plenty of chance for a private conversation, so why not ask, “Would you favor to go on an actual date sometime?” If he states yes, then tell her BFF. If he claims no, you quietly go back to the status quo. SEENITTOO

I was the brother. Ns glad my sister’s girlfriend spoke up. JNEWCOMER

^I was the girlfriend of the brother that asked the sister out. It to be a wonderful an initial relationship. QUADROPENTA

It’s always best to resolve the other human directly. So walk for it, girlfriend don’t need someone rather to mediate her romantic interests. RCARDZ

His sister, most likely, already suspects... TWEETY24

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globe.com. Catch brand-new episodes the Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” podcast at loveletters.show or where you hear to podcasts. Column and also comments space edited and also reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.